MEET ANANDA.
Being a grandparent is much more exciting than being a father.
That's what 66-year-old Ananda Dalidd will tell you.
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“I have no responsibility. And then when I’m done with them,
I literally go, ‘Here you go!’ he laughed.
With his four grandkids, he can reap the benefits of childlike
wonder, laughter, and silliness – without all the fuss and stress
of parenthood. “When you have your first child, your proud of
him or her, but with the grandchild, that multiplies by two, I
don’t know how to describe it,” he said.
That’s not to say Ananda isn’t proud of each and every one of
his four children, the youngest now 31. When he told them all
he was moving into Friendship Manor, they couldn’t be happier
for him.
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“They were ecstatic, cause we were in a conference call.
‘Gosh Dad, finally you got your wish come true!’”
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Ananda spent the first 17 years of his life in Java, Indonesia. When he was 18, he had the opportunity to go to school overseas in England. It was there that he met his ex-wife and the mother of his four kids – a Danish woman.
When his ex-wife got pregnant with their first daughter, Ananda dropped out of school so they could move to Sweden. They had two weddings: an intimate Danish wedding, and a massive Indonesian wedding with hundreds of people.
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“You’ve never seen it in your life," he told me. "It’s quite unusual, a Danish wedding and an Indonesian wedding."
After the weddings, the couple flew back from Indonesia to Denmark and sold everything they couldn’t fit into two suitcases. They’d found a private school in Ojai, California for their kids to attend.
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“We landed in Los Angeles with two suitcases and we never left. I’ve been here since then,” Dalidd said.
Ananda lived in Ojai for 42 years before retiring at Friendship Manor, where he’s lived for the past year and three months. With affordable rent and meals included, he says he would’ve taken the room no matter the location.
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As things have gradually opened up and meals have become communal again, Ananda’s spent more of his time at Friendship Manor, even to the dismay of his own family.
“They’d joke and say, ‘Yeah, right.’ You just want to talk to your friends over there. Whereas before, it was guaranteed every day I’d be at my daughter's,” he said.
Ananda appreciates the sense of freedom Friendship Manor affords. He’s able to opt into activities when he wants, but he can also take solo bike rides around the UCSB campus and spend quality time with his friends at the Manor.
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"When I'm done with them, I literally go,
'Here you go!'"
Photo Credit: Ananda Dalidd
By far, Ananda’s favorite part of living at Friendship Manor is his close proximity to his grandchildren. Almost every day, he gets to play basketball or soccer with his grandson.
“I live for my grandkids,” he said with a smile.
But the beachside community is certainly a plus. Ananda loves the close proximity to UC Santa Barbara. When asked whether he has any grievances with UCSB students, Dalidd’s answer was simple:
“N. O.”
He moved in during COVID, so Ananda wasn’t too phased by taking his meals to-go and not being able to sit down with other residents. After all, he didn’t know any different.
“I was a newcomer and it was kind of weird, people wearing masks and very rigid. When you go eat meals, you talk to people, you converse, you know? I kind of missed that,” he said.
Luckily for Ananda, he was able to see his grandkids during the pandemic, who’d come in to take swimming lessons at Friendship Manor’s pool.
"It's huge for me, 80% of the responsibility off my shoulders."
Ananda’s favorite part of retirement is the overwhelming lack of responsibility.
“It’s huge for me, 80% of the responsibility off my shoulders. The freedom of not working, being retired, and enjoying my grandkids…that’s what I live for right now."
Nowadays, he lives his life to the fullest, and he urges others to do the same.
"The sun just shines," he told me. "It doesn't care how you and I feel, it just does it. Life is way too short."